Metacognition: the Elixir to Growth
What you are missing out on if you don’t think about the way you think.
It takes a lot of humility to accept that you do not know something. It takes even more humility to accept that you don’t know something, and ask someone to teach you. It takes even still more humility to open up your thought process to someone else — or yourself — to better understand the other person’s point in the conversation (or your own, as it were). But such humility is the core component of metacognition — thinking about the way you think. And it is in this understanding, analysis, and interpretation of the inner workings of one’s mind where true learning, perspective-shifting, and growth occurs.
Metacognition in the real world is as simple as getting an answer to an exam question wrong, asking yourself why, and unpacking your thinking step by step until you discover your mistake. It can be as regular as pausing in the middle of your day when you have a certain thought and analyzing how you came to that conclusion or made that judgment.
It usually begins with asking “why?” to your own thought patterns.
Where to Start?
An easy foray into the universe of metacognition is to ask oneself why one feels the way they do, as often as possible. Whether it’s while sitting at lunch with colleagues, attending another Zoom meeting for work, or cleaning up your living space, sitting in your feelings and exploring why you feel the way you do can open up your perspective. There is no shortage of feelings in your world — at any given moment you can sit back, note how you feel, explore why briefly, and then resume your life. It’s a simple way to (i) boost mindfulness, (ii) learn more about yourself, and (iii) warm up your metacognition muscle.
Why Should you?
Really, if you are not practicing metacognition, you are missing out on a lot of life. It’s easy in our modern era of technology to become slaves to the never-ending stream of content that lets us tune out our own thoughts and thought processes. Being a consumer rather than a creator is simple and requires less effort and attention. But there is a limit to the growth that we, as human beings, will attain by only consuming content generated by others. If you’ve felt brain dead after two hours of scrolling on TikTok (as I have on many occasions), then you probably know what I mean.
The way that one thinks shapes one’s experiences in life: one’s feelings, one’s behavior, one’s attitude, one’s cognition, and frankly, one’s existence. Basic principles of our identity, ranging from our values, validations, preferences, and communication styles all stem from the way we think.
To allow our mind to run on autopilot without checking in on it, iterating on the way it works to improve it or battle the pieces that are holding us back, is an exercise of ignorance into oblivion. Growth occurs when we accept that our behavior is inconsistent with the vision we have of ourselves, our values, or our identities, and work to change it.
In a literal sense, metacognitive growth gives our identity and mind the map and directions to reach the destination of self-actualization. In my case, my ability to self-actualize was hamstrung by mental illness (anxiety) that had been hidden in my thought patterns for my entire adult life. Applying metacognition on my own thought patterns led me to discover countless distortions (for example, feeling nervous about saying something that showed vulnerability with those close to me for fear of their judgment, even though I also acknowledged that such an outcome was outside the realm of possibility) that had poisoned my experiences in life. Without seriously questioning the way I think (and in the process of learning to manage my anxiety) I would not be on the path to self-actualization and understanding. Rather, I would remain trapped (as I did most of my life) moving through life from distraction to distraction and avoiding the tough questions.
Without effective metacognition we can continue growing but may end up detoured, meandering, and ultimately lost. It’s not realistic to expect self-actualization absent metacognitive effort. And how could you? To truly self-actualize requires looking inward and analyzing every component of our mind to better understand it. Not running away or distracting ourselves, but facing them head-on.
How?
How does one know if they are practicing metacognition well? Or even at all?
A good place to start is to examine how intellectually vulnerable you are willing to be with other people. Are you OK saying “I don’t know — good question” and having the other party explain it to you? Do you feel uncomfortable when you don’t understand something, and/or afraid to ask someone to teach you? Do you judge yourself when you don’t know something? How often do you ask “why?” Do you question your own thought processes, apply logical reasoning and rational thinking to them, and improve thereon?
Do you accept when you are wrong, and change your mind going forward?
Intellectual humility is the building block to a successful practice of metacognition. And like everything else in our mind, this humility is a muscle. It’s not fun or easy for one’s ego to accept that they are wrong. But with a mind open to learning new lines of thinking, new facts, and new perspectives, such worries fade over time.
The practice of metacognition itself — thinking through your thought patterns and iterating on them — can take several forms. Journaling, self-talk, and talk therapy (or talking to a friend about your thought process) are all effective tools. It may be slow and difficult at first but the good news is that it becomes second nature over time. The neural pathways become stronger and stronger and soon you will apply metacognition in your sleep (whether you want to or not!).
This is also where the fun begins. You’ll learn new things faster. You’ll explore things you previously let sit. There will be breakthrough moments where you reach the “point of no return” in your knowledge and perspective — moments when you learn something you cannot unlearn and your perspective on the world will be forever different because of it. Your identity — whatever shape, size, or form it is — will come to the fore as the distractions around it fall away.
But it also won’t be easy. Metacognition requires facing the most uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, or cognitive patterns that you have likely suppressed over time. Mental health, trauma, or deep-rooted insecurities are likely to emerge in ways you didn’t realize were affecting you. Sometimes, you may need more resources — mindfulness, therapy, medication, or support from friends and family — to battle some of these obstacles, and that’s OK. You wouldn’t show up to a gunfight with a knife, would you?
And putting aside the consequences of practicing metacognition, the qualities required to effectively practice it should not be understated. To process one’s thoughts and feelings objectively and apply logical reasoning to them, one must be (i) humble, (ii) admit wrongdoing, often, and (iii) be consistent in this practice. These are no small feats. It will require feeling uncomfortable, accepting fault, and a lot of time and energy.
The consequences of this practice on one’s day-to-day life are also very real. A deeper understanding of oneself can cause one to change jobs, relationships, move cities, change diets, or grapple with their gender identity. Friends will be shed, new friends made, and previous relationships severed. For fear of these many consequences (and in general, of the unknown) many will avoid this practice until the day they are no longer with us.
My advice to you: be true to yourself. In the end, metacognition is less about iterating and improving on yourself as much as it is about figuring out what really defines you and what has been distracting your thinking. This practice will make you happier and more fulfilled in the long run, despite the rockiness and bumpiness it takes on the way to get there.
You can’t travel somewhere without a map and directions (at least, I can’t). You can’t grow if your mind is hamstringing your thinking without you realizing it. Think about the way you think. Analyze, iterate, critique, and improve, constantly.
Then, you will be well on your way to your destination — wherever you decide that that may be.
